Fill day is tomorrow.....wonder what the doctor will do. I have noticed that I can't eat as much as I used to and now I often skip breakfast as I can't stomach anything. So that's good. Bad thing is that I still haven't lost heaps of weight. Will be interesting to see how much when I jump on the scales tomorrow. I will update the blog after the appointment.
I had to face a small part of my fears on Saturday, my clothes shopping phobia. I went on a shopping tour where alot of the clothes were priced for a quick sale. It was definately an interesting experience. I was especially excited at the prospect of buying myself a JAG skirt and Colorado jumper. Clothes that I would have only dreamed about 4 mths ago! What I found to be most interesting though is that even though we stopped off at what felt like a million places and shopped for 10 or 11 hrs, at the end of the day the only thing I felt was mentally drained. Not physically, I suppose that's the bonus of being 15 kgs lighter.
Sunday was a day at the Geelong Adventure Park. A place that would have been extremely daunting if I was still larger but somewhat a little less now. Still not self confident enough for me to feel comfortable in anything less that a t shirt and shorts along with my bathers. Mind you the t shirt was that big that I had to tie it into a knot. Still I was able to jump right under the water with the kids without a second thought, a giant step towards inner peace.
I am finding it ironic about who I tell and who I won't tell about having the surgery. I recently participated in a university program that only ran for a few days. The person that I paired up with is probably someone that I may never come across again, yet within a couple hours I had told her about the band. Ofcourse I was given a positive response, I have yet to receive a negative one. However, the reason I find this odd is because there are people in my life that I believe are closer yet I won't tell them. I haven't quite figured out why yet. Maybe I think that they might not be as supportive? Maybe I don't want them feeling sympathy or empathy for me? Or maybe I just don't want to be embarrassed that this was the extreme measure that I had to take to get me back to where I feel normal? I wonder if there will be a time that I won't hesitate? Then I have another question, how do I react to those people that treat me differently because I have lost the weight?
So until next time...
Inner peace comes in all sorts of clothes
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